Yesterday I took a tour through my blog which I began about half way of 2012. Every photo I took I can recall exactly where I was at that time and how I was feeling. You see I was in a powerful place of change. Everything I thought was real in my life fell away. My life was dismantled and it was fucken painful and there were times I didn’t want to get out of bed and there were times I also felt I don’t think I could actually make it to the otherside.
The only thing I knew would heal me was to make art but I was so overwhelmed with pain that I couldn’t draw. So I figured out a way to begin shifting my block that was easy to do in such an overwhelmed state and that was to take at least one photo a day that can describe how I was feeling and write down just a few words describing how I felt. No I didn’t publish most photos just some and this blog was a way to also work through the shame I carried within me since I was a child. I knew part of my healing was to be seen and it needed to be my art. Putting art out in the world is one of the most vulnerable and empowering things anyone can do I needed to be both.
I couldn’t do more than that. Life was unclear. It was messy as fuck and incredibly painful. I was overwhelmed and couldn’t see clearly just had to trust in the moment with how I felt.
Some fears don’t end they lessen and you learn to be aware of them as you grow and not fall into the belief of that fear. Fear is a close friend of mine. I’ve learnt to understand fear over the years and we have a healthy relationship now. I’m grateful for fear it has helped be grow in ways I never thought imaginable.
The point of the post is I made it through 🙂 not only creating art but selling it. No matter how messy life gets it slowly becomes clearer and I believe us humans need to trust how we feel more especially when we can’t see. That’s called trusting and believing in yourself. We don’t need to control what’s happening outside of ourselves we need to follow our feeling and listen to them always.
And if you’re thinking about putting something creative in the world, DO IT! That’s your feeling right? Follow and trust it believe in you that’s what YOU wants. 🙂 xxx