Day 9: the Inner World of a Highly Sensitive Person

I want to share something that bothers me a lot and to be honest has held me back from connecting because I want more mess, I want real. When you have experienced the depths of your own personal darkness with awareness it pulls back layers of how you didn’t see the world with clearer eyes before the journey. I can also understand why so many people will do anything to avoid being honest with themselves because its painful and really who wants to feel pain? Though the thing is if we don’t learn to accept and embrace the messy painful parts of who we are we aren’t actually living a full life we are only just surviving. That avoidance will lead to more chaos, more hardships, dependance and in some cases sickness too lets just be honest here.

Feeling pain, fear, sadness, grief you know all the shitty feelings that comes with being human is necessary to accept because whether you want to acknowledge these feelings or not you are still going to be uncomfortable and in pain it will just take another destructive form and pull you away from reality.

The so called spiritual circles out there (yes the ones I have been a part of) I have to say I can’t stand being around and no I’m not a part it any longer haven’t been for a very long while. The word namaste gives me the shits. I can’t stand the falseness anymore. Why? because I’ve seen so many people mask there pain behind different beliefs, I’ve seen manipulation to the extreme, I’ve seen good people in their vulnerability seek assistance only to be hurt more and I see too much of people not wanting to love, accept and embrace their humanity. I understand we all grow and evolve at our own pace but if you choose to hang onto certain beliefs to not only hurt you but others along the way to uphold an image thats fucked friend.

I understand its pain and fear I truly understand and have compassion for that but this avoidance of being real has just gone too far. It has. The Earth needs you to be your awesome messy self. Don’t feel bad about showing all of who you are because theres people like myself who want to see that beautiful mess that we’ve all been conditioned to hide. Man I am craving to see more. Humanity is a beautiful thing and it comes with two sides one light and one dark and its the dark where we find ourselves so imagine creating a world where we feel safe to share our pain and be empowered to explore that pain with genuine care and understanding. That would be cool. Imagine creating a world like that and leaving it for our children and grandchildren…

 

Hmm…. I want more mess please.

 

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2 thoughts on “Day 9: the Inner World of a Highly Sensitive Person

  1. I love this. I think that having that blissed out, bowl of cherries sort of concept of how it should be is a real stumbling block. I often do not think I have gotten very far with the changes that have happened because it does not fit that idyllic concept at all, and I look around me and see that there is still a hell of a lot of imperfection. Oceans of it. And much of it will probably still be there in 10 years. Yet I know that I am not the person I was 5 years ago, not by a long shot. I like who I am now a bit, and I never liked the other person at all. Anyway, it is not as if I am going to stop changing, because once you start, you just cannot go back. I feel like there has been a real click that I cannot unclick. Yes, I have felt more pain, but I have also removed a lot of stuff that was holding me down, and learned to be more discerning.

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