Is anyone else still finding their feet now January has passed? After Mercury retrograde and yet another clearing of bullshit are you in the same place as myself and find yourself asking over and over again, ‘where the fuck am I now?’ If not, lucky you but right now I wouldn’t say I’m floating around but more feeling into this new skin…again..constant change is beautiful, exciting, healing, tiring and annoying. Yes annoying 😒 Just when you’re excited on the path you’re on and feeling the ‘fuck yeahs’ everyday it changes on you 😳 again and again. Tiring as fuck, can I have a holiday from change please?
I know it’ll be great when I cross to the other side and feel solid once again with where I’m heading but this time I’m feeling impatient. I usually wear change well but this time I’m allowing my frustration to delay the journey because I’m super keen to arrive where ever the fuck I’m meant to be. Yes I know it doesn’t make sense I love standing in my own way (not) but we all do it don’t we? So while I complain I’m going to delay it a little longer with my tantrum let it build up so I’m anxious, get angry, feel hopeless and then finally surrender… yep 😩
The thing is, most of the time we already know where we’re heading and I kinda do but I also like to take my time feeling each step. Can’t rush the process man it needs to be felt, all of it. Why? because that’s how it goes. Feelings need to be felt. Feelings don’t have plans or a time where they are done it’s constant. It really is like moving in a sea of water. Sometimes it’s calm and sometimes it’s wavey as fuck and however it is we’re going to feel it. Even if you’re disconnected from how you feel you’re still feeling it because we can’t disconnect from how we feel it catches up with you and comes out in different and most of the time chaotic and self destructive ways.
So yes, I’m floating, occasionally swimming, screaming out ‘I’m fucken tired can this stop now please’ but I do have an idea of where I’m heading and allowing the current to take me exactly to where I’m meant to be. I will be calm and then complain about it along the way 😄 because I can then I’ll create a whole heap of art and write a shitload which will help me arrive to where I’m meant to be.
Welcome to the life of a highly sensitive, creative fucking genius connected to the universal flow of fuck yes, oh shit not again, I’m tired, fuck I love life ride of a conscious creator and human being who chooses to be connected to this beautiful planet and her crazy artistic self.
Going back to tiredness now, feeling excited with some self pity… see you on the other side.. Xxx