Rebuilding Confidence and Finding Purpose

2016, what a fucking year to say the least! As much as it was unexpected in pretty much every single way, I see now with so much clarity why it was. If you’re still complaining about how shit this year was, then prepare yourself for more work next year because clearly you haven’t received the best parts of why it was so damn chaotic.

And you know, realistically, each year will become more chaotic until humanity wakes the fuck up. That’s what we’re here for so I say to you now, embrace for a massive ride next year too. Yes, embrace it because fuck, we have no other choice.

This year has been huge for clearing out inner crap, pulling apart old belief systems that were based on painful hurts. It was also a year of learning to let go again in every way and trust that wherever it was taking me it was for a bigger reason and of course I did. It was painful, I’m not going to lie, but now as I sit here preparing and creating work for next year, wow, am I so grateful.

What I’m focusing on now as an artist, is rebuilding my confidence. I lost much of my confidence as I was thrown around internally this year and had to let go of my art practice in order for me to continue on with it next year. That was hard. Really hard. It touched on an old trauma from long ago that I’m still managing while I rebuild again.

So to rebuild, I have to sit with a bit of emotional pain to be my confidence again. Challenging to say the least, but that’s the beauty of doing something that is soulful that you can’t live without, you’ll go through the shittiest terrain to be in that joy again. Grateful for such deep work.

I also found that part of my lost confidence is the purpose with my art has changed. I did notice it but at the same time I didn’t give it the attention it needed. That focus is necessary to connect with my work and with my audience, without it for me, I find I’m just displaying my art and feel overly exposed. Like standing there naked for people to judge and there’s no purpose to why I’m standing there naked 😀

It also gives me a focus and a direction, without it, too much energy not channelled is chaos.

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A work in progress – chaos art.

And speaking of chaos, this is the direction my art is taking me, right in the middle of the Mystery.

My message is one of letting go and moving with something much bigger than our tiny selves. Allowing yourself to be swept up in change and trusting your knowing that it’s for a deeper reason, a greater purpose even when you cannot see. This trust in your knowing, is the what we all need to practice because as we can see, chaos is growing in our world and we have to trust and believe in our real selves, our intuition to get us through. That’s all we have because everything else can be taken away at anytime.

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Building layers.

So my plans for 2017 is some of what you’ve read, but I’m also open to that changing at anytime because that just seems the way these days. Make loose plans and trust whatever comes.

To all my Facebook. Blog and IG supporters, I can’t thank you enough for walking with me through the many changes I’ve experienced this year. Without you I wouldn’t be able to do what the fire inside me thinks of every day even when I’m not creating, so thank you xxx

To follow my Facebook page click here: Chaos Moon Arts 

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