Writing Through Chaos

There’s a stillness in the air and an unease to go with it. I’m sure most of us can feel something’s coming and fuck knows what it is but it feels big. The release feels big. Something new, something needed and it feels we are just waiting patiently tending to whatever we need to which is drawing us right into ourselves into our much needed caves.

Though beneath the stillness it feels chaotic and there’s an anxiety building but a knowing to go with it. The knowing that we are being pushed to do our thing whatever that thing is. It feels like the fire of why we’re here is being pushed up to be finally manifested in the physical. Some of us know what that is. Some of us know only part of it and some of us can feel it but have no fucking clue as to what it is.

Either way it’s coming.

I can’t seem to paint which is what I usually do through spaces like this because I love to utilise the energy of what I’m feeling and usually what I paint I can see or feel what is possibly coming through my canvas. But that’s not working. Clay maybe a goer which I will try tomorrow but the only self soothing and productive thing to do right now is writing. Between work and the garden this is the only thing that speaks. I’ve found a flow that I haven’t felt with writing before.

I chose to fuck off any criticism I have had around writing and I have had a shit load but at the end of the day it is creativity and it is a form of communication two things that the world needs, two things I need. Whether my words get read or not, the only thing that matters is that I’m putting it into form and me the writer is accessing a flow within myself that matters greatly in a world gone fucking mad.

It’s giving me a sense of peace and a knowing, actually it’s growing both and how fucking interesting that my creative flow has taken this medium which for some reason feels important to where I’m going to which I have no idea but it feels good and I’m trusting what I do not know.

I’m slowly building new work and I’m sharing and exercising some of that energy (link below) while also writing the website and pages of a book that’s been in slow progression over the last year.

Writing, writing, writing – link —>  She of the Wild 

Thank fuck for creativity.

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Inspiration and Birthing Creative Energy

I believe creativity has a pulse. I don’t believe in blocks because we can create the block and move through it, but I do believe in rest time and yes sometimes it’s years and sometimes it’s a day, either way creative energy needs inspiration. And though sometimes we can feel a slight ping of inspiration, sometimes it’s just not enough to push through the new energy that’s wanting to be birthed, and like any birth we need to wait for the right time, you can’t make a birth happen because you want it to, as our creative energy needs inspiration to move towards the birth.

I’ve been thinking on this while writing and what I need to inspire myself to write. For me I find writing is more challenging to birth the new energy. I’d say it’s because it’s more mind orientated than what painting is so we tend to overthink the fear, but I find both support each other nicely.

I’ve been thinking on what inspires me and what gets things moving and for me and it’s always nature. Not just being in nature but losing myself in the detailed creation of a leaf, a petal or sitting next to my eggplant babies in awe of how nature works. This is where photography gets everything going for me.

I lose myself in macro photography. There’s an awe and peace losing yourself in the magic of nature.

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Magic in my front garden.

Losing your imagination within the details, details that are too small to see which gets the imagination flowing of how, and the what ifs and not to mention the connection with nature that grounds the fear, roots us back to our bodies and moves the creative energy back up to the surface.

I haven’t felt stagnant in creative flow, if anything I think sometimes I have too much of it, this inspiration thing got me thinking as I begin to write again. I’ve been losing myself in painting and herbal craft (that’s another post) but because now I’m in the flow of my writing 😀 I haven’t stopped all day I thought I’d share the magic of nature photography that has always got things moving for me when I’m moving towards birthing new creativity.

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More front garden magic

Wildly Unearthed -Female Empowerment

 

My focus and direction at present with my art alone is chaos. Sharing through my art how to find stillness within chaos, to trust your knowing; your real self, because everything else can be taken away at any time. That’s a truth. Re-learning how to surrender to move with the Mystery, with change.. because have you not noticed, shit is getting intense. We are living in a powerful time so we choose to surrender and move with the almighty flow or self destruct. Truth again, but most can’t swallow the truth so they will be swallowed.

Intense yes, but truth, so go with it. Be part of the change. So briefly here’s what I want to share…

Get empowered. Stop fucking around and be the reason why you’re here. Stop self oppressing (yes there is such a fucking thing)

Without me saying anymore, just click on this link below and come run with me in 2017, (shit not long now to go now :))

Facebook page, click here – Untame the Serpent of She 

Catch ya there xxx

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Healing my Relationship to Self and Creative Energy

I’ve been wanting to write a post about the inner journey that has finally landed me here..finally! Fuck almighty what a ride! and so happy to finally come back to a place of creation. I have a new found respect and gratitude for my creative energy like never before and also learning to understand this energy much more than I ever have.

Being creative has always been very natural to me. It is something I have never understood up until now that I have taken advantage of this energy unintentionally and realised though I have a deep understanding of my creative force how important it is to actually understand this force like an intimate partner because it is. It’s powerful and extremely moving. It moves me to places unexplored and untouched not just creatively but also within my emotional body and when there are wounds that are needing presence and attention how much it can throw things off balance and the necessity of getting to the core and understanding of these wounds…

..which I always have done but only until recently I’ve come to understand why I spent many hours at a time on my kitchen floor as a blubbering mess wondering why I can’t sell my paintings. It sounds fucking strange I know but I know now with clarity which wound it was rubbing against. It was overwhelming to feel because it felt just so bloody big I was unable to grasp a thread of where to begin up until three weeks ago.

Shame. Toxic shame to be clear. Really old pain from my childhood which really has been my burden in this lifetime like nothing else. To be seen and vulnerable in my uniqueness has alway been a struggle for me and not to mention the small but harsh inner dialogue that is so easily triggered by what looks like nothing can open the gapping wound of my inner child.

I’m still working through it but even within the small space of time I have shifted and become aware of the subtle inner dialogue. I’ve been writing as much as I can trying to catch the negative inner voice and get to the core of what I’m actually doing and trying to say behind the pain of it all.

I’m grateful, so grateful for so much I have learnt about myself over the last three and a half months of not painting. I had a strange pull to write instead of painting which led me here. I felt there was an inner journey to be taken by learning to understand why I want to write and not paint. That may again sound strange to some but it made perfect sense to me and I was right.

It was an online writing course that supported me to explore deeper wounds from another view point which enabled this new awareness.

So not only have I arrived at a place which I will be continuing to explore but also something else that has been revealed which is also so very precious to me. My work with children.

Coming up to almost 8 years now I have known I was to work with children in a unique way which will change the lives of so many. I have looked at this energy, watered, fed it, nurtured it, thrown it to one side to pick it up again and look at it some more. I fear and respect it all at the same time I know this is definitely a calling. The energy is very high but I also knew something was missing and I had more work to do inside myself before I manifest it..

..and that something has been received. The way I am to deliver this blessing and it isn’t just about children but the inner child of everyone. I think I cried for a good solid hour after receiving this for many reasons. It wasn’t just relief but gratitude to my commitment to grow and love who I am but also I felt with my whole body I can do this. I’ve had many friends and clients compliment my work with children but when you carry toxic shame this realisation, this knowing is life changing.

I will share it once everything has settled and I feel comfortable to put it out in the world.

So 🙂 this is me up to date. What a blessing to live life to the fullest, to choose to walk a path with eyes and heart wide open. I will share more as time unfolds but right now I’m staying close to whats happening inside to give the attention, presence and love I deserve. Love each of you for sharing this journey with me you have no idea how much. Grateful.

Thank you xoxo

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