I was speaking to a close friend of mine yesterday about forgiveness. Many of us believe we need to forgive the person who hurt us but the truth is it is ourselves we need to forgive.
The pain and anger we carry around certain situations and people is not the pain we think to believe the other person has caused but our pain towards ourselves for choosing to not let the pain go holding ourselves in a disempowered and unhappy place which will attract the same painful patterns over and over again till we choose to heal and release it. When we choose to own pain and anger it becomes a part of us and we cannot blame another any longer as we have claimed it to be ours. We choose to carry this pain to protect ourselves from being hurt again but that is an illusion, as long as we choose to hang onto the pain we are in pain.
People do hurt us at times as we all have different past issues and experiences that colour our perceptions of what we perceive love to be. We all try and protect ourselves from pain, its our survival instinct but if we choose to walk a path of authenticity we must work towards moving past these instinctual patterns. Ultimately it comes down to wanting to be loved and searching our way back to the true source of love, a knowing and a drive that resides within all of us. So throughout our life we all at some point have controlled and manipulated another in some way to receive the love we have created from our illusion which we have created from our pain body. A truth hard to swallow for some, no one wants to think we have manipulated or controlled another but usually it’s not intentional its created from fear that we’re not good enough to be loved.
So going back to my friend this is what I shared with her ~
The thing with forgiving others comes from understanding that people manipulate because they just want to be loved ultimately. Manipulation comes from the pain of being hurt and not being centred in love and not receiving love the way we deserve to…as we all know the truth of what love actually is deep down. And through this knowing and through the fear and pain we carry, we manipulate others and ourselves to try and reach this illusion and try to get back to the source of love in some way which is the Universal force, the force that has created ALL THAT IS.
We may at times know the truth about the people we opened ourselves to but our need to be loved and our will to heal the pain that drives us to sabotage ourselves was much louder than our intuitive voices. This is an important part of the healing process. We must work towards forgiving ourselves because all we were doing was trying to return to the source of love but our inner mapping was distorted through our pain and it is only through these experiences will we know that the path we chose was not the clearest path but now we can change the direction and clear the way to return back home to ourselves.
The pathway to self forgiveness is the pathway to the source of love.