Rewilding – to restore to it’s natural uncultivated state. Let’s take that sentence right into ourselves and sit with that like forever and let it become who we naturally are.
Mercury retrograde has this thing where it likes to bend you over when you’re not looking and do things to you to wake you the fuck up in ways that are never comfortable, and hey I’m so used to being stripped back to fuck all I’ve grown to love it and wouldn’t have it any other way because the liberation that is experienced and what I become I honestly wouldn’t want to have it any other way.
The word rewilding was repeated in my dream last night over and over again. The word was said many times and was written and shoved in my face so I think I need to pay attention to it and I have been over the last few weeks but clearly it’s really trying to get my attention now. I’ve been really thinking about my art practice and what I put out into the world through my social media pages and really asking myself, am I being raw as fuck as I would like to be on my art pages and if not why not?
I don’t think I am, not intentionally. It’s a feeling you know, it’s a feeling that I’m exploring and a feeling I have not yet expressed through my art yet. All I can say there’s a fear and I’m just sitting with it, looking at it and letting it get comfortable with me and I with it before I pull it apart gently and see what’s beneath it.
I created this page for my mediumship readings on Facebook – Blunt as Fuck Tarot Readings and that’s changed everything for me. Finally I’ve allowed myself to be myself through my work after having so much expectation thrown on me to be a certain way which I am not and never fucking will be, its given me space to really look at things and to pull myself onto the dirt and see am I being this way in everything that I do publicly?
This is the reason why I haven’t posted too much on my pages as yet, I’m feeling my way into something that has to be all me. We all put on face for many different reasons, some purposely and others not but I cannot have anything less than what’s all of me so when I find what that is or feel into what the fuck is holding me back and why I’ll share it here or on my pages or all of them I don’t know but it will be shared.
Mercury fucking retrograde can piss off now thanks and apparently it will this Wednesday. Christ almighty I’ve had enough of it. I’ve created about two pieces of art since it begun, my head’s mushy, I’m behind in my study, and I’m tired as fuck of feeling. Anyone else tired of feeling so much?
These last few weeks have felt like months, seriously months but besides all the whinging I did get a heap of stuff done, other stuff besides art that will clear the way for more art and more greenery. I’m obsessed with permaculture and anything green and that’s where my heart seems to be calling me the most nowadays besides art.
The sadness of seeing our earth in such a critical state because of us, people not humans, hurts. I’m finding this sadness has deepened to depression at times but how can you not feel depressed at times? If you’re connected you’ll feel the hurt.
I find this hurt stops me from creating too. I kind of just fall in a lull and just want to be outside more loving our Mother and putting some good stuff back into Her, sitting at the beach or forest and just listen to Her..just listening because we don’t listen anymore, we haven’t been for too long a very big reason why this world is off balance, we don’t live close to Her anymore.
Permaculture principles rule my life now and I bring it into every place of my life including my art life which I have found ways to create art in a more sustainable way which I’ll share in another post. I just think we all need to learn how to live more sustainably and be that in every aspect of our lives and share. Share the knowledge because it’s such a heart centred and harmonious practice and we all should be interested in the planet that gives too much to us.
So I’ve decided this; my writing page will be changed into a permaculture page. It’s time I’ve been studying it for a while and I want to share what we can do to help ourselves and every living being on the planet. This is the link to the Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/theshadowandthewild/ – right now it’s still my writing page but it will be changed this Wednesday when Mercury finally fucks off. And the name will be changed then and my writing will be shared on my art page which is connected to this blog.
I’ll share more over the next week because I’m still processing too much and still feeling pain, not going to lie. xxx
Purchase art at my new shiny website by clicking here –> chaosmoonarts.com
I am sure no one expected the beginning of this year to turn out like this 😳😂 seriously lots of unexpected change which has changed the course of where I’m heading to completely, but now that I’ve found a bit of earth to plant my feet on even if it’s just for a while (and I’m sure it will be just for a while) I’ve been able to view the direction of where my art is heading to now.
I think the biggest thing for me is that the feeling around my art has changed. The last two years I’ve been very self focused with my creativity and I still am but it’s shifting into different forms I hadn’t expected. I think this may have been the biggest thing for me is adapting to how I feel when I create now and when I think about creating. It’s different. The feeling is less intense, quieter not so loud, well when it comes to painting BUT when it comes to writing the push is huge. I now have to make sure I write at least 2-3 times a day and if I can’t I feel unsettled so you can say I’ve swapped the paint brush for the pen.
Admittedly, I’ve been sulking a lot about this switch 😂😩 it’s true I have and I’ve been procrastinating a lot because I’m sulking that I’m not painting as much as I was. Some might say go paint anyway but it doesn’t work like that for me at least, if I don’t feel it I don’t do it.
So the blog maybe a touch quieter..maybe..probably not but you can find me here too Hedge Witchery and you can view some of my writing here on my other Facebook page click here –> Hedge Witchery-Astara Lak’ech
I am and still will be creating it’s just another amazing time of more change and I trust my mad hatter fluctuations 😂 I always go with whatever I feel. Gotta trust the journey even when you can’t see. Trust your gut always and that’s what I’m doing.
BUT I have come back to my photography and I’ll be sharing more of that here soon. Xxx