Writing Through Chaos

There’s a stillness in the air and an unease to go with it. I’m sure most of us can feel something’s coming and fuck knows what it is but it feels big. The release feels big. Something new, something needed and it feels we are just waiting patiently tending to whatever we need to which is drawing us right into ourselves into our much needed caves.

Though beneath the stillness it feels chaotic and there’s an anxiety building but a knowing to go with it. The knowing that we are being pushed to do our thing whatever that thing is. It feels like the fire of why we’re here is being pushed up to be finally manifested in the physical. Some of us know what that is. Some of us know only part of it and some of us can feel it but have no fucking clue as to what it is.

Either way it’s coming.

I can’t seem to paint which is what I usually do through spaces like this because I love to utilise the energy of what I’m feeling and usually what I paint I can see or feel what is possibly coming through my canvas. But that’s not working. Clay maybe a goer which I will try tomorrow but the only self soothing and productive thing to do right now is writing. Between work and the garden this is the only thing that speaks. I’ve found a flow that I haven’t felt with writing before.

I chose to fuck off any criticism I have had around writing and I have had a shit load but at the end of the day it is creativity and it is a form of communication two things that the world needs, two things I need. Whether my words get read or not, the only thing that matters is that I’m putting it into form and me the writer is accessing a flow within myself that matters greatly in a world gone fucking mad.

It’s giving me a sense of peace and a knowing, actually it’s growing both and how fucking interesting that my creative flow has taken this medium which for some reason feels important to where I’m going to which I have no idea but it feels good and I’m trusting what I do not know.

I’m slowly building new work and I’m sharing and exercising some of that energy (link below) while also writing the website and pages of a book that’s been in slow progression over the last year.

Writing, writing, writing – link —> ย She of the Wildย 

Thank fuck for creativity.

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Why We Need Artists and Writers

Haven’t we all walked into a crazy beginning of the year? Fuck almighty with everything that’s happening in the world it’s given me clear perspective. It’s definitely lit a fire under my arse and got me thinking to where to now and narrow in to what’s actually important and how I want to use my energy.

I had a very small moment of thinking, why create art when the world is going to shit?  

It’s was brief, a few seconds of fear ๐Ÿ˜„ but more than anything we need to keep making art, write, create all the good and beauty we want to see in the world between being proactive to change shit too. 

Theres a time to make a stand and fight the good fight, and then there’s a time to cave, create, be and listen. Creativity will keep us sane. Keep us centred as fuck, to go beneath the fear because let’s face it’s going to get worse. 

But we can write words of encouragement, write poetry, share how we feel letting others know they’re not alone. And we need beautiful pictures to escape into, to make us feel, to inspire us to do more and remind us that we have the power to change shit up. 

It a time for reflection that’s for sure, but it’s also a time for action. The duality of the masculine and feminine working together within which is what’s missing in the world. 

Where’s the feminine honoured in all of this mess? It’s not, that’s why there’s chaos why we need writers and artists of every genre more than ever. Exercising creativity, exercises creative thought and action so fuck yeah to making art.

I have never lived what’s considered to be ‘normal’, I walk the the old ways of how it once was so I’ve always been on the edges of society. I live close to the earth, I’ll do anything for her, and who I am and how I live is the greatest resistance there can be right now and we need more people that choose earth, art and the web of life first. 

That’s true activism. 
 

Rebuilding Confidence and Finding Purpose

2016, what a fucking year to say the least! As much as it was unexpected in pretty much every single way, I see now with so much clarity why it was. If you’re still complaining about how shit this year was, then prepare yourself for more work next year because clearly you haven’t received the best parts of why it was so damn chaotic.

And you know, realistically, each year will become more chaotic until humanity wakes the fuck up. That’s what we’re here for so I say to you now, embrace for a massive ride next year too. Yes, embrace it because fuck, we have no other choice.

This year has been huge for clearing out inner crap, pulling apart old belief systems that were based on painful hurts. It was also a year of learning to let go again in every way and trust that wherever it was taking me it was for a bigger reason and of course I did. It was painful, I’m not going to lie, but now as I sit here preparing and creating work for next year, wow, am I so grateful.

What I’m focusing on now as an artist, is rebuilding my confidence. I lost much of my confidence as I was thrown around internally this year and had to let go of my art practice in order for me to continue on with it next year. That was hard. Really hard. It touched on an old trauma from long ago that I’m still managing while I rebuild again.

So to rebuild, I have to sit with a bit of emotional pain to be my confidence again. Challenging to say the least, but that’s the beauty of doing something that is soulful that you can’t live without, you’ll go through the shittiest terrain to be in that joy again. Grateful for such deep work.

I also found that part of my lost confidence is the purpose with my art has changed. I did notice it but at the same time I didn’t give it the attention it needed. That focus is necessary to connect with my work and with my audience, without it for me, I find I’m just displaying my art and feel overly exposed. Like standing there naked for people to judge and there’s no purpose to why I’m standing there naked ๐Ÿ˜€

It also gives me a focus and a direction, without it, too much energy not channelled is chaos.

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A work in progress – chaos art.

And speaking of chaos, this is the direction my art is taking me, right in the middle of the Mystery.

My message is one of letting go and moving with something much bigger than our tiny selves. Allowing yourself to be swept up in change and trusting your knowing that it’s for a deeper reason, a greater purpose even when you cannot see. This trust in your knowing, is the what we all need to practice because as we can see, chaos is growing in our world and we have to trust and believe in our real selves, our intuition to get us through. That’s all we have because everything else can be taken away at anytime.

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Building layers.

So my plans for 2017 is some of what you’ve read, but I’m also open to that changing at anytime because that just seems the way these days. Make loose plans and trust whatever comes.

To all my Facebook. Blog and IG supporters, I can’t thank you enough for walking with me through the many changes I’ve experienced this year. Without you I wouldn’t be able to do what the fire inside me thinks of every day even when I’m not creating, so thank you xxx

To follow my Facebook page click here: Chaos Moon Artsย 

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Pushing Artistic Boundaries & Getting My Shit Together

First of all I need to explain that the name of this site and blog has change from Sacred Spirit of Gaia to She Moon Artistry. I just felt change and I’m sure the name will change again as I change but it is the perfect description for my artwork and for the work to come. And many thanks for all the visits while I was away. Who knew that anyone would be interested to read what I write. I started this blog to reconnect with my creativity, I use it to work out my thoughts and feelings with my relationship to art I honestly believed no one else would be interested in what I write so thanks ๐Ÿ™‚

So finally I’m back here after being pulled away from my art from a strong feeling to write and study permaculture which I’m still doing both but the insight is clear to why this happened and very thankful for the path behind and ahead.

I think my last post here was in April and even since then so much has changed again. I now have a clearer understanding of my creative energy which desperately needed to happen. I arrived at a point where I was exhausted, overwhelmed and actually needed to step away but was too stubborn to. I love art too much and throughout the whole time of not creating art I sooked all the way through it, yep I did not ashamed to admit it. There was always a longing to create but no feeling to. That in itself was incredibly painful and somewhat traumatic! truly, I’m not trying to be dramatic because when the time came to slowly reconnect with my art world it was painful I had no idea the time away from it was going to happen the way it did.

But it needed to happen. I was overwhelmed from not having a clear understanding of what was happening inside of me.

I’m a visionary artist, I surrender to what wants to come through. I don’t plan what I create I listen to prompts from my intuition. This style of painting brings so much to the surface. Unresolved emotion, breaking open what’s ready to be seen, it creates authentic and very real and deep change. I knew this to some degree but in the depth I needed to understand for my own well being. And that’s why the strong intuitive feeling to write which I see now.

Writing has always been a big part of my spiritual practice. There are times where I would write up to 3-5 times a day but when I returned to my art I didn’t feel compelled to write as much but I should’ve, I get that now. The writing process is very similar to a painting process but the writing process gives me the clarity to understand what’s happening within, what’s actually moving. I also discovered I can write poetry, fuck who knew! I had no idea I could but it goes so nicely with my art so that was a cool little plus to find out along the way.

It has also made me think what it means to me to be an artist. Even art nowadays has lost its essence in the way of originality. I belong to a few art groups on and off line and contemporary art (nothing wrong with contemporary art I love it) but really art that pushes no boundaries seems to be the only kind of art that is ‘accepted’ these days. And I’m not the only one that sees and feels this, many other artists feel the same. It’s fucking frustrating. It also puts people off from sharing their art. I’ve seen some judgemental arseholes in groups who I have seen put artwork down that is not contemporary because that’s what they feel art is. I say get fucked. That is so far from the truth. What happened to creating art for the sake of creating art regardless of what it looks like? What happened to pushing boundaries to make people think and feel outside of their small shitty conservative box? Are we going to try and put art in a box too? Not me, fuck that I refuse to. I think it’s time to create a new group. I will share that here when that happens and it’s not too far off.

So briefly that’s me so far. There’s more changes but they’re not quite ready to share yet. This blog will be kickstarted again and so happy that it is. Oh my gosh I have missed it SO bloody much. Looking forward to sharing more and reconnecting in the very near future. For now connect with me on my Facebook page here –>ย Astara Lak’echย and my Instagram is @shemoonartisty ๐Ÿ™‚ xxx

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Yes!!!ย 

 

 

Day 5: the Inner World of a Highly Sensitive Person

Today I chose to slow everything down and just breathe and listen to myself to say yesterday was emotional is an understatement but I want to begin by saying this: one comment was made where this person felt they needed to ‘redirect’ what I expressed and I just want to say this, fuck off. Seriously this space is for me to share my inner world it is my OWN expression of how I feel in the moment. I’m not asking for opinions, to be fixed or ‘redirected’ to something thats more comfortable for anyone. Let me share with you why I chose to do this 10 day expression… it’s an act of self love because I want to empower the child within me to have a voice and feel she doesn’t have to hide how she feels everyday that it’s ok to be vulnerable and real in a world that is doing everything to destroy what’s real and true.

The child within me is feeling raw, vulnerable and still fearful to put herself out there like this. She hasn’t had it easy and I’m aware of what needs to be strengthened within me and this is just one thing that needs attention, expression and love. The mother in me is a fierce protector so anyones opinions can fuck right off because I’m here to be present for myself not to be fixed or to please anyone. No ones opinions belong in my inner or outer world period.

 

I love my humanity as messy and as imperfect as it is. It’s beautiful to be human. You don’t need to understand me that jobs for me and me only.

 

This space is like a blank canvas for me which I have never done online before. I’m not finding this easy but I wanted to empower, heal and stretch beyond where I am in my journey.

It’s day five and I’ve made some interesting observations about myself which I will share towards the end of the 10 days and what I’ve also noticed people crave real. They want raw open hearted emotion and theres not too many people out there that are brave enough to do it and let me say after 5 days of sharing it’s a challenge but it’s also damn freeing. It’s given me so much to reflect on which I will share in the near future.

It’s empowering to allow another to express how they feel. (as long as they’re not hurting any being) Let them empty themselves, let them be as they are because most of the time it just needs to be expressed because energy does need to be released. It can’t stay stagnant or the emotion builds into anger and grief. We all need an outlet to release what we feel every day just to empty ourselves…. so we can BE.

My writing companion, my Pursia :)
My writing companion, my Pursia ๐Ÿ™‚

 

My God Woman Just Write!

I’m sure I’m not the only one out there to feel this but why is it when we think of producing a body of writing in the form of a book we shit ourselves with a thousand doubts and don’t even begin?

I want to just put that out there and see how this unfolds in hope I can conquer some of my own fears just by writing about it. I have a thousand times thought of producing a body of work to completely freeze and shit myself and talk myself out of it convincing myself it will be a complete waste of time and really who the fuck is going to publish it, will anyone like it, do I really have the time, do I really want to make the time, and yes I can self publish sounds awesome but do I really have the time to market it and can I be fucked to?? These few main questions completely talk me out of beginning even though the feeling to begin is pretty big I’m going to convince myself yet again that I can’t.

But why? Writing is another form of expression too why can’t I?ย I’ve produced drawings and paintings and have exhibited many times before so why not this? The one thing I can share is each time I’ve hit a really big fear with manifesting a creative idea I have always found it will change my life and I do believe in many ways these immobilising fears that surface for each of us has something to do with aligning with one of the many things we are meant to do while we are here.

Really its the journey isn’t it? Removing fears and obstacles out of our way to walk a more authentic path so really beginning the many pages to come isn’t a waste of time because of all the gain and personal growth with the journey. Just confronting the huge fears of beginning and getting out of my own way is a release in itself. Hmmmm… I’m going to sit with that and probably shit myself some more BUT this time I’ll write out the fears see what moves see if I can convince myself to grow a set and actually begin. I will let you know.. ๐Ÿ™‚

Where the fuck are we going?

I woke up with that feeling of ‘where the fuck are we going as people?’
I am a natural medium I have been working as a medium since I was 16 I’m now 38 and deeply attuned with our planet I have a strong connection with Earth and this question and feeling has been raised more than once particularly over the last 7 years as I just see we are spinning out of control and into a dark place where so many are losing their sense of self, their connection to their own soul and majority have no relationship with our Earth.
I don’t believe we can be a balanced human being without having a relationship with the Earth and Self. This is what keeps us grounded and connected to the Source within and without.

Without that connection to Source we are just surviving.

(Sigh) so where to from here today?
When I feel like this well pretty much any feeling I create. I focus on the heaviness and I choose a medium and I create the heavy dark feelings that have emerged and something beautiful even if it’s dark comes out.
Like this photo of the ocean I took I changed the settings to express what I’m feeling in this moment:

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When I was moving through one of the darkest experiences around sexual abuse years ago I drew fairies for three hours at my kitchen table.
Never drew a fairy before that but each one carried a different feeling I have two of them here to show you.

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Body movement and creativity helps to move what we’re feeling inside whatever the medium it doesn’t matter.
I had one client and her primary creative expression was food so I told her to express her feelings by using different foods and dishes to express how she feels and it worked for her.
When she was angry it was spicy, when it was emotional it was soup :), when it was complex and she needed to reflect it out she made a three layered cake, cool hey? ๐Ÿ˜Š

Ok so message delivered I’m going to get off here and create and if any of you are feeling the same even begin with jotting down the different emotions you’re feeling to move it, to bring it to your awareness.

Our feelings need our presence in order for it to be released otherwise we are just pushing them down.
Let it out create something beautiful with something dark.